Just got this in my email today. Too funny, yet all so true.
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they
are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but
it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the
clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then
put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there
a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a
radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on
all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little
Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?