Tuesday, January 13, 2004

The Adventures Of Replacing My Identity

Boy....I am TIRED.

You'll NEVER believe what I spent the better part of the last TWO days
doing (then again, this *is* the Internet, so maybe you will).

I spent the better part of the last two days running around getting
documentation and other stuff to replace a few ESSENTIAL cards which were
in my wallet that I needed to have. I say this this because I somehow
managed to lose my State-issued ID, my disabled persons discount card for
the bus, and the building security card which I use when I enter the building.
I know I wasn't pick-pocked because my wallet and it as well as the rest
of my cards and MY MONEY were still present and accounted for. Yet
I somehow for the life of me managed to lose those three aforementioned

I discovered they were misssing when I stopped downstairs as I was leaving
the building to run an errand this past Friday to double-check to see if
I had enough change for bus fare. It was a good thing I did so too
because once I opened my wallet, the mystery surfaced immediately
as I keep those cards on top of everything else as they are the most used
ones. Though just to be sure that I wasn't imaginging things, I thumbed
through each one of them. Nothing. I next realized that it
was possible (albeit very remote) that they slipped out of my wallet
and out of my pants pocket either as I slept one night or when I had my
pants off and laying next to my chair on the floor. I went back upstairs
to my apartment to begin my search.

I looked all over on the floor in the area where my pants were.

I looked and felt underneath the cushions of my chair as well as underneath
the chair itself. Nothing.

Fearing the worst, but not panicking, I hoped I would find them later
after I came back from running my errand (security is always more than
willing to let someone in even though they're not supposed to. the
same goes for other residents in the building). Suffice to say that
never panned out either. So I knew the only thing I could
do was to put in for replacements. But that would take $$$.

Figuring I still had my Social Security Card and knew my number by heart
(No I am **NOT** posting it here for all too see!), I figured I'd go down
to the local DMV office to replace my ID (I had already replaced my building
security card even though I could never get the thing to work). But
and behold, the State of Colorado
DOES NOT accept Social Security Cards as proof of identification (you would
*think* they think they would). In fact, about the
only item they accept is a BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

So I thought "WONDERFUL.....NOT!".

Though I have to admit I should've had a copy of my birth certificate
in a place (other than my baby photo album) where I could get to it in
case it was ever needed. But leave it to dumbass me for not thinking
of such things....

After I baord the bus (paying the FULL $1.25 fare as opposed to the
$.60 discount fare I would get with my disabled persons discount card if
I had it) leaving the DMV (and with cell phone in hand and soon up to my
ear), I called the agency that handles birth certificates to verify
what I needed for proof of ID to get the copy of my birth certificate which
(again I admit) I should've had to begin with. If I didn't have what
was needed and couldn't drop by home to pick it up, I would proceed home
to stay. As luck would have it, I had a couple of items which were
on their list of secondary ID. I then bypass the apartment and proceed
to Denver
Vital Rrecords to get a copy of my birth certificate.

But it was there I got my biggest surprise.

It cost me FIFTEEN FUCKIN' DOLLARS just to get ONE COPY of my birth
certificate. I was thinking $15 for a piece of paper. What
a ripoff" Talk about price gouging!!! :-(

Anyway, it was too late to go back to the DMV yesterday (Monday) to
get my card and I had a 3:30 appointment to keep. So I decided I'd
return the next day, which is today (Tuesday).

On Tuesday, I returned to the DMV with birth certificate in hand.
I was given a piece of paper which had a number and was told to have a
seat and wait till it was called. I waited.....and waited......and
waited......and waited FOR A WHOLE FUCKIN' 90 MINUTES for my
number to be called. Once it was called, I walked up to the clerk
and she processed my order. She then told me to have a seat until
I was called to have my picture taken. I figure I must've waited
another 10 mnutes or so this time around, but was FAR more reasonable
than my previous waiting time before I was called. This time, they
verified my information and had me sign some things and then took my picture.
I was then given a special "temporary ID" which, I'm told, is as good as
the real thing, but when I asked the clerk if people who needed to see
this "temporary ID" paper when I'm doing certain things such as cashing
checks at the store, she said I'd have to "call and ask". I was then
told that it could take up to THREE WEEKS for it to COME IN


Is it just me or have we entered so far into this so-called "outsourrcing"
era that we can't even get a fuckin' ID card on the spot like we have been
before? I suppose I'lll see my ID card come with a MADE IN CHINA
or MADE IN IBDIA tag on it.

Can you tell that I'm NOT a happy TAXPAYING CITIZEN here?

I mean, imagine this....I am stuck with (what amounts to) a state-issued
VOUCHER which has NO PHOTO on it. That means all one needs is a temporary
ID paper. Don't terrorists still use THROW AWAY PHONES???

With this system, what's to stop a terrrorist from obtaining a THROW AWAY
ID? Although it's only good for 30 days, terrorists can do WONDERROUS things in that 30 day time period with that THROW AWAY

I think I'm going to write my State Representatives AND the Department
of Homeland Security (as clueless as they really are) if for no otherr
reason than to point this out to them. THAT is being a responsible
American (Yes I am a Democrat, so what of it?).

Anyway, off my political soapbox now and back to the subject at hand.
Suffice to say I eventually leave the DMV (hopefully for the last time
in a LONG while), and manage to get to my next destination, the RTD
Administration Building before they close to replace my disabled
persons discount card. But I still had another trip to make.
That was down to my parents' apartment where I could then pick up some
MUCH NEEDED and borrowed $$$ (I stuffed the fare boxes with $1 bills I
was nearly BROKE by the time I left the RTD
Administrration Building ). But this was a good thing as I avoided
a trip I would've had to make eventually by making the stop. :-)

Well.....That's all there is to tell of my advertures the last two days.
Tme to put a wrapper on this and post it.

Wednesday's blog will be on an Today
Show report on

Laters. :-)

Cheers for now :-)


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